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15 October 2009

Brick Testament in UK, Italy papers, radio

The UK newspaper The Telegraph ran an article on The Brick Testament this past week, and that same article seems to have been picked up by several other news outlets including the Huffington Post.

On Sunday, I was a guest on "UK's best speech radio station" talkSPORT where the hosts played Twenty Questions to attempt to figure out why I have appeared in the news that week. Alas, they did not succeed in the allotted time. A somewhat more serious interview was conducted by William Crawley for the BBC Northern Ireland, and should air this coming weekend.

The Brick Testament is also in the news in Italy where Vivere Italia ran their own article. This in turn lead a Vatican-based news service to get in contact with me. We'll see what becomes of that!

28 September 2009

How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Since completing illustration of the Book of Revelation in June, I have taken a little vacation from work on The Brick Testament, and I thought I'd share with you what I've been up to...

Celebrity Guess Who
A while back I created a party game called Celebrity Guess Who in which artfully distorted images of famous faces are displayed on a large screen, and players buzz in as soon as they recognize who it is. There's been many requests for an online version of the game, and I'm very happy to announce that, thanks to the collaborative efforts of my good friend Jonathan Field and his considerable programming talents, officially launched today! Try it out! I think you will enjoy it.

Everything I Needed to Know I Learned by Watching Road House
This month witnessed the sad passing of acclaimed actor Patrick Swayze. Believe it or not, it was only a month prior to that I had watched the movie Road House for the first time and felt my life forever changed. As a loving tribute to that quintessential Patrick Swayze film and as a memorial to a fallen hero, I have crafted this website: Everything I Needed to Know I learned by Watching Road House. For the faint of heart, do take notice of the content warning labels.

My Name Is Banacek
I started off the summer by rewatching all 16 of the 90-minute episodes of the 1972-1973 TV series Banacek. I know the kids of today lack the patience (and possibly the courage) needed to watch a slow-paced early 70s TV show about a freelance insurance investigator, so I have taken it upon myself to condense all the awesomeness of the entire Banacek series into just under 10 minutes. So grab a drink, sit down, settle in, and prepare your mind for: My Name Is Banacek.

...and now back to work!
It's been fun to pursue some of my other creative interests over the past few months, but I know God has been drumming his fingers waiting for me to get back to my appointed task of illustrating the entire Bible in LEGO. Soon enough I will be back at it. There's many more great stories to come!

26 June 2009

The End Is Here

Ever performed a magic trick for your friends? Committed adultery? Worshipped an idol? Are you cowardly? How about filthy? Have you ever told a lie? If so, bad news. You are going to be ceaselessly tortured for all eternity.

Good news, though, if you are a male Jewish virgin. A lucky 144,000 of you are going to get to live on the New Improved Earth with Yahweh. Sound fun? Did I mention the whole place is made out of gold? And has good water and 12 kinds of fruit all year round? Pretty sweet, huh? Plus, there will be no crying, no pain, and no death. And everybody gets a cool tattoo of Yahweh's name on their forehead and worships Yahweh to his face!

But guess what? No chicks. And no being sad about your loved ones being eternally roasted in flames while you bask in Yahweh's glow.

Yes, folks, our final four illustrated stories from Revelation, reveal God's ultimate plan for humanity in full. And what a plan it is. Sure you may have been wondering what all that crazy build-up was leading to, what with all God's elaborate killings and tortures of the vast majority of humankind. But when you finally see that all those people who were tortured and killed on Earth are also going to be tortured in burning hot flames for ever and ever after they died horrible deaths, it all just suddenly comes together. So go now, read the final stories of Revelation and have your own A-ha! moment. Happy epiphany!

5 June 2009


God has a plan. Our pathetic, puny human minds cannot comprehend the utter and sheer brilliance of God's plan (and God made sure of that by only equipping us with pathetic, puny human minds), but rest assured that God does indeed most certainly have a plan. And here's one thing we can know about God's plan: it involves torture. Lots and lots of torture.

Sure, torture is generally regarded by us comparatively dim-witted humans as the most morally vile, reprehensible, and cruel behavior possible. But this must only show our lack of intelligence, because God can't get enough of the stuff. In our latest four illustrated stories from Revelation, God continues to pour down wave after wave of horrible torments on mankind.

It culminates in the famous Battle of Armageddon, which turns out not to be much of a battle at all. One person (Jesus? some other King of Kings and Lord of Lords?) kills the entire combined armed forces of Earth with the sword sticking out of his mouth.

If you imagine that God's prolonged torture of humanity will stop with this epic and ghastly mass slaughter, that just goes to show how truly little you comprehend of God's plan. But to see how it all ends, you'll just have to wait for the final set of stories from Revelation, which are coming very soon.

5 June 2009

Brick Testament is officially AWESOME

It was an honor even to be nominated, but a far greater surprise and delight to find that The Brick Testament beat out such formidable opponents as James T. Kirk, Neal Peart's Drum Kit, Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton, and Shutter Shades to be voted MOST AWESOME and to go down in history as the eighth AwesomeOff Champion over at

Thanks to everyone who became a part of this victory by voting in the round robin tournaments, the playoffs, and the final showdown. The next AwesomeOff is already underway, and though The Brick Testament is no longer a competitor, I encourage you all to have your say in determining who or what else will ultimately get to stand beside The Brick Testament in the hallowed pantheon of Things Most Awesome.

3 June 2009

The Brick Testament Feedback Line

In what will almost certainly be looked back on as an ill-conceived and terribly misguided move, The Brick Testament today launches its official 24-hour Feedback Line. Just call telephone number 310-HEY-WWJD (that's 310-439-9953) or use the Google Voice Widget on the new Feedback page to make a free long distance call from a land line, and shoot your mouth off. Figuratively, of course.

Be aware that any audio recordings and transcripts thereof become the property of The Brick Testament. Not sure yet what I might do with such recordings or transcripts, but if nothing else, I'll hold out the option of posting a selection of them on the Feedback page at some later date.

17 May 2009

Satan Unleashed

Throughout the entirety of the Old Testament, the figure of Satan receives nary a mention save for convincing King David to take a census (at least the way the story is retold in 1 Chronicles) and as some sort of henchman of God in Job. It is almost as if the whole idea of a powerful archnemesis of God was foreign concept to Judaism until after most or all of the Hebrew Bible had been written.

The New Testament, on the other hand, seems to take Satan completely for granted, never bothering to explain how or why the whole realm of earth has been granted to him (not to mention any details about an argument he had with God over Moses's body), and simply retcons him as the serpent from the Garden of Eden. We learn the most about Satan from the book of Revelation where God props him up as enemy, has him deceive the world into worshipping him, only to war against him, and condemn all his worshippers to eternal torture.

In our latest set of five new illustrated stories, Satan is cast to Earth and is, ironically enough, received as something of a "godsend" by the surviving population who have endured (and will continue to endure or succumb to) wave after wave of the most gruesome torments from God and his angels.

23 April 2009

When God Attacks

There's a popular notion that the Bible gives us two starkly different portrayals of God. There's the Old Testament God who often directly intervenes in human affairs to bestow favor on particular races, drown people, kill babies, command genocide, or torture people with snakes, and then there's the New Testament God who seems remote and aloof, and whose son espouses a surprisingly loving, forgiving ethic.

But those who read the New Testament carefully know that Jesus drops more than a few hints that God has hardly lost his appetite for destruction, and is instead saving it up for one final gory feast. The Old Testament God, Yahweh, returns to form in the Bible's final book, Revelation, and in today's four new illustrated stories we begin to see what sort of plan for humanity ol' Yahweh has been scheming up during his "quiet years".

11 April 2009

Apocalypse (of John) Now

After finishing illustrating Job last November, it was announced that I'd next be turning my attention to the book of Revelation. "When?" I was asked. "Very soon," I replied. But when weeks with no website updates stretched into endless long months, many began to despair. Some thought this generation would taste death before it ever came to pass. Some continued to believe my words were true, just not in a strictly literal sense.

A select few, however, remained faithful and ever-vigilant, knowing that I illustrate like a thief in the night! And now: Behold! Just in time for Easter, it's the first four illustrated stories from that book of The Bible that has been stretching the meaning of the words "very soon" for nearly 2,000 years.

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